Redeem The Time....

  Again I find myself sitting alone in my room... As I look around, everything is in  order. I think of how it applies to my life. How neat and perfect it looks. Nothing is out of its proper place.

  For the past few days something has been upon my heart. Everything seems to be such a whirl in my mind. One day I am so certain...and than the next day something is thrown in and my mind never gets a rest. 

   The choices...

For right or wrong...

  For this sort of life or that sort...

To be this kind of person or that kind...

  To do this or that....

   But one thing I am certain is that my heart longs more than ever before to do only right in His eyes, to live only His life, do be the person  He wants me to be and to do what He wants me to do.

  

   Never have I felt so helpless and in need of a Guide. Never have I seen such a weight on everyday choices. 

               Just one choice can determined so much!

   Friends, this world may look as though it offers so much. But this world is nothing compared to what Jesus freely offers! Dont let Satan pull you away! Theres no time for carelessness.

             Friends, Heaven is cheap enough!

                                        My call is: Redeem the time....

To Reflect...

   As I sit alone in my room, my mind goes back through the past months. The days that were so often filled with laughter, joy, and love. But yet pain, brokeness, struggles, and tears stand out in my mind. 

   The times where my strength gave out and tears streamed down my face. When feeling lonely and confused I sat alone on a mountain top gazing into the clear blue sky whispering all that was in my heart to my dearest friend who I felt was so close by myside.

So much pain....

   So many tears...

   Though I be ashamed I dare to admit that to often I asked God, "Why?". I did not blame Him...yet I did not trust Him!

   My faith failed...but in that failing God taught me so much and gave me so much more faith than ever before. 

   No....

   I would not trade any of the pain...nor the tears! And I dare say that if it takes that for my character to be transformed than that is exactly what I want....for my heart longs for my life and character to reflect Christ and His matchless character perfectly!

To live as He lived...

             To love as He loved...

To do as He would do...

         To say what He would have me say...

To be who he would have me be...

      I am living Your life...

I am a mere vessel...

             For after all, I am not my own. I am Yours!

But If I Loose My Soul...

They say, I was born to be a horse transformer....

They say, I am talented.....

They say, it comes naturally.....

They say, I am impressive.....

They say, I was born to be great....

What if I became a well known horsetrainer...

What if people were dazzled by me....

What if I went far and became famous....

My Most Cherished Desire...Shattered...

   We've all had 'dreams'. Some small, some big, some that are small but big in our minds and hearts.
Have you ever had 'dreams' shattered? And it just didn't work out like you had so desired? I know I surely have! Some 'dreams' I've cherished a very long time, others more resent, some I cherish more and for me it always seems like the ones I cherish most are the ones that get shattered.
I'm sure you can relate in some way or another.
   When I was 11 years old a desire sprung up in my heart and the desire grew throughout the years till it was very dear to my heart. I prayed and prayed and 'dreamed' someday it would come true.
   Somedays the 'dream' would seem quite possible and other days totally impossible but I still held on to the smallest of hope.

   Days turned into months, and months into years. With each day that passed my desire kept becoming more and more dear to me. And I cherished it above every other desire by far.
   The day I most dreaded and hoped would never come, came. As my mind processed the information, that it wasn't possible, and that my 'dream' be given up, I felt helpless. Totally helpless. A feeling I had never experienced before. All I wanted to do was talk to my best Friend. I knew He was beside me. He saw the pain in my eyes, and felt the tearing hurt in my heart. He understood and I felt as if Jesus' loving and strong arm was about me leading me up to the throne of God, as I walked up to my room. I closed the door behind me, fell down on my knees and begged God to take the closest and most cherished desire of my heart...away! I knew He has greater and more amazing plans for me but that I needed Him to help me trust Him fully. As I ended my prayer these were some of my last words:
   "Lord, please forgive me for not trusting you like I should and trying to control my own life! Please help me to fully trust You, wait for Your guiding, and trust that whatever happens is just part of the beautiful picture You are in the process of painting".

   Yes, God has a beautiful picture He is painting And if we don't get in His way it will unfold perfectly. Who knows, maybe God will work a miracle and someday that desire of mine will come true. But if not, He has a way more awesome plan and it will come in His time.
   As the words processed, Jesus was tugging on my heart to trust Him! And I believe that little things like these, that are big to us, God uses to teach us to trust Him fully in everything.

   Maybe you have a desire that is very dear to you but looks totally impossible. Maybe God has a greater plan for you but you just don't see how anything could ever work...Or maybe God is just using this as a tool to teach you full surrender and trust in Him, and someday it will come true. But give it to Christ. Ask Him to help you trust Him fully! In His perfect time you will see the beautiful picture He is painting unfold, and it will be past any awesome plan you could ever dream of. :)

If I Try Hard Enough.....

"I want to change! I want to be different! I will try...I will do it! If  I try hard enough I can do it!"

  A year ago I prayed, "Lord, do whatever it takes! Whatever it takes to make me like You!" I was sincere and ready to face anything that could be placed upon me....
  About a month ago I was studying one morning as usual but I felt a bigger burden than usual. I dove into my Bible....
  Oh the perfectness, the beauty, the never failing love, the never ending patience of Christ! As I pondered His perfect character tears trickled down my cheeks. Oh His love for me! He gave everything for me! And here I am...I'm nothing near perfect, there's nothing beautiful in me, my love is failing at times, my patience runs out and I had even failed Him at times! As I sat there, the tears still running, I thought of all the times I failed the One who gave His life for me, the scene of Him in agony and pain on the cross giving all for me flashed into my mind. "Maybe all the times I failed Him...did I put Him through the cross all over again?"
  "I want to change! I don't want Him hurt ever again! I want to be like Him in all ways! I want His love to never fail through me, I want HIS beauty to shine in and through me, I want selflessness, and I want to have the patience that never runs out!" 
   I decided that if I tried hard enough I could do it! I could smile and be kind even when I felt like blowing up. If I tried hard enough I could overcome....so I thought.
  So I began...at first everything didn't go too bad...but as the days past I got more irritable, more inpatient, it was not the result I wanted. Everything seemed to go wrong and I was nearly in tears no matter what happened. Everyday it got worse and worse till one day I couldn't hold out any longer. I ran to a room fell down on my knees and sobbed like a child. My heart was broken. I had tried and tried but failed. I was tired, and I was done. In my distress I cried out to my Savior.
"Oh Lord, I'm done. I have tried and tried and I'm finished. If You want me to change You will have to change me!"
  Yes, that's what I should of done in the beginning...but it took tears and much pain for me to learn the simple lesson. It wasn't that I didn't know the lesson...I just didn't realize where I had gone wrong in my self-reliance! As I knelt there and prayed I felt as if Jesus was standing right beside me with His hand on my shoulder looking down upon me with a smile saying, "Yes, My child....yes...!" Peace filled my soul, the tears ceased to flow, I felt new...fresh....strong....in my realization of my nothingness and weakness, He made me strong...the strength that only comes from Him and FULL surrender to Him.
  I'm praising the Lord, for the heartache, pain and tears He let me go through to teach me such a simple lesson.... And I assure I will never try to do anything in my own strength ever again! :) Being filled with His strength is by far, better than any strength I could ever possess!

My Heart Raced...

      As the words fell upon my ears...

My heart raced....

      I couldn't think it to be right...

Me? Tiana Oliver? Theres no way.

      The words started to sink in and I became afraid and begane to worry. Thoughts raced through my mind in a whirl wind. "I thought I was fine."

      The words that hit my ears, "You're not doing well, and if you continue this way your only going to get worse", hit right to my heart. I hadn't been feeling well and to think I really wasn't well made the tears struggle hard to show themselves upon my cheeks. But I held them back and told myself I must be strong.

      A few minutes passed....

I slowly walked away and climbed the stairs to my room. Feeling tired and weak I dropped down onto my bed and let the tears trickle gently down my face. 

     As I lie on my bed I tried to recall what it was like to feel well and great. But I couldn't quite grasp the feeling and only dreamed of when I'd feel well again. 

     "I'm so young! How could anything be wrong. I've eaten right, worked hard. Why me? When will I be well? How long do I have to wait till I can live life normally...fully normal that is." The thoughts kept going on and on...But than my thoughts turned down a different road...I didn't feel alone like I had before when in the pits of life. 

     "Jesus! Yes, sweet Jesus!

Through the gentle tears a smile slowed showed itself upon my weary tired face.

     "Yes, my sweet Jesus. He is the Healer! He made me. He formed me with His own hands! He can heal me, I know He can...if it is His will!" I asked God to heal me if and when He saw best. And that whatever He had planned, to help me accept it and trust Him that it is for the best.

     The tears ceased to flow, a smile again upon my face and peace in my heart, with Jesus by myside I felt ready to face whatever is ahead of me.

      For you it might not be physical sickness...but it has the same effect and it can be healed by the same Doctor. You may know that as soon as you ask He will heal you! Right there and then!

 He is waiting for you right now!

 Don't wait another minute!

Nomatter What...Always a Cowgirl

Photo credits: Timothy Oliver
   I have always wanted some cool pictures like these, thanks to Tim's awesome photography I've finally got some!! :)
   If I could I would wear my full western outfit all the time! But it gets annoying going into a store and people go "WOW there's a real Cowgirl!!" And than they just stand there and starr until I'm out of sight. Lol :)
   I was definitely born a cowgirl. Simply LOVE it! If I am not in my cowgirl attire I'm still a cowgirl at heart. I'm known for wearing my cowgirl boots everywhere, even places people think you could never go wearing cowgirl boots. But really other than my church shoes I don't wear anything else so its life to me. Wear I live my name is "Cowgirl". Hehe :)
                                       I'm really excited about these. :D Hope you all enjoy. :)

This totally reminds me of a western movie...lol :)

 Thanks to Hope for giving me spurs for my birthday last year. :)

 (You can actually see my spur in this pic. lol)

This was the first photo we took. :)

 "Did you act in a movie?!" LOL :P

Looking up to the top of the hill....

I was seriously baking...it was so hot. lol 

I wasn't aloud to fully smile. lol :P

He is Constantly Pursuing You

   Be active, be vigilant, be cheerful, be loving, be gentle, be patient! Give your heart fully, wholly, unabashedly, and devotedly to Christ, and Christ alone! Until you have tasted God's eternal, never failing, steadfast, redeeming love, hold off on looking for a man! Because "even if a man is not currently pursuing you, Jesus is constantly pursuing you! 

   "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ and His love, that a man has to seek Him inorder to find her."

   Oh dear girls, let us make it our life goal to live to the fullest right where we are! Let us be like bright beams of light, love and sunshine wherever our presence is found! Let our smiles show that Christ's unfailing love is abidding in our hearts! Search the precious pages of God's love letter to you! 
   Pray, oh pray! I am afraid we never pray as much as we should. We take speaking with our Lord so lightly, but just like you desire to speak with your earthly friends you should desire to speak with the Best Friend you could ever have! 
   Gaurd your thoughts and never let your guard down for Satan is waiting to ruin you any minute he can. Think on pure, heavenly, kind things. Oh don't let your minds travail down the road of imagintive fairy tales. But keep your thoughts focused on thoughts of truth, and purity. I find what helps me best is in times that my mind begins to wonder I stop and talk with my sweet Jesus, who hears and understands! He always is there and always ready to help!
   Most of all strive to become the woman God created you to be! But inorder to know who that is, you must seek Him, get to know Him, spend time with Him, and talk with Him! 

The Blindness of Sin.....

   Thinking of the possibilites my old horse, Cosmic Jet would of had if he hadn't lost his vision.
He descended from two very, very, very famous horses such as Native Dancer, and Man of War. He had the perfect build and was a funny gentle giant. He would of been the perfect horse for jumping and would of done awesomely! He also would of been an amazing barrel racer with his quick action and FAST speed. And would of been the prettiest graceful Dressage horse....
   Think of where we came from..we came from the Mightist that has ever lived! We can do SO, SO much...but are we letting sin hinder us and blind us from what we could do? God looks at us as I look at my old horse, "If only they would let go of the sin that is blinding them. They could do so much and go so far." God is longing to uncover your eyes, and show you all He has instore for you if only you could see. Pray and ask God, ask Him to take away the blindness of sin that you may see what High goals He has for you...He is most excited to see you succed through His strength. :)

Miss this big guy! :'(

Crystal Clear

He is working now....this very minute....

Yes, He wants you to be crystal clear with His character.

Filled and overflowing in His love....

Filled with His peace....

Walking in His joy....

and living in His righteousness

Bitter Painful Days

   I've been hurt many times from others words and actoins. And I am sure you have also. I've also hurt to many people from something I said or did, or both.
   Why? What makes us be rude, uncaring, and unthoughtful towards others? What makes us say impatient, rude, cutting words?
   I believe it is a lack of Christ's righteousness in our lives! Instead of having Christ's character of meekness, patience and selfless love, we are filled with self exaltation, love of self pleasing, and pride.
   I personally have struggled greatly with pride. Pride is a horrible thing and ruins to many a poor soul. Those who are proud and selfish aren't one bit happy! To them life is one big bitter journey.
   I can remember many an incidence when I wanted to be kind and loving but sadly my horrible pride overruled. Over time my pride grew, and grew until I was nearly ALL selfishness and pride.

       But than... I crashed! 
   I was tired...very tired, broken, hurt, and horrible unhappy. I hated myself and life! Life wasn't anything but bitter painful days. I didn't see any worth in life or reason to life. Christ wasn't real to me. He was like a fairy tale that everyone said was out there but I never saw Him.
   But, praise God, He showed me my horrible state and showed me a way out. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute God has been changing me. Giving me a new heart. He is replacing my rock hard heart with a heart of purity, of love, of meekness, of unselfishness-a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26 says, "A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh." Jesus promised us this and all we have to do is come to Him as we are, pour all we have at Christ's feet and follow Him. Jesus already paid the price for you! It is a free gift from God, and all you must do is ask Him.
   He is longing to come into you, create a new heart in you and give you the love and joy in living in Him! It is simply a prayer away!
   The way won't be easy but with Christ by yourside, giving you strength you will be able to overcome your pride, and selfishness. I assure you, you can for "with men this is impossible, but with God ALL things are possible." Matthew 19:26.

    Look to Christ! The more you look upon Him and His glory the more you'll become like Him.

   "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

The Gold Behind the Grime

   A dear friend of mine wrote this article. I was blessed by it and wanted to share it with you all! I hope you are blessed also! :)

  "There was once a small, remote mountain village in which a statue stood. Now, this was a statue of pure gold It was able to bring this village much wealth and fame, but because it was covered with grime, and it's maker had long since died, nobody saw any good in it's graceful shape. Moss on it grew and dirt covered it's gentle face. Soon a farmer came to town in search of a plot of land on which to raise his swine and to him was sold the lot on which the statue stood and his pigs were allowed to roam round it's base. Before long this place was very filthy and repulsing. The farmer needed more space for his swine and so he sold the lot with the grime covered statue and all the while not seeing the riches and wealth that dwelt on his step. Now the second owner of the grimy statue wished his plot to be sublimely beautiful. He was quite put off by all the stench that drenched his land and at once began to scrub, but he was not all that young and so he hired the best maintenance and cleaning crew he knew. They set at once to clean the plot of ground and the statue wondered if perhaps today was going to be the day of true appreciation for her golden glow: but no, she was sent off to the garbage dump as if she was the very start of the stench.

   Now by and by, the owner of the plot had a beautiful garden which became so famous that people came from miles around to see it. This garden lacked the most important part, the center. The center of it, the statue was sent off with all the rubbish to a distant recycling plant for reuse of thrown out items. There worked a very poor but profusely thoughtful man of which many admired. For though he was a garbage sorter he saw beauty in each cast-away. When he saw the grime-covered-statue, his heart leaped within him. His companions laughed as he spent every spare second scrubbing the statue, but in a fortnight their scoffing turned to awe as a beautiful statue of pure gold emerged. The garbage sorter had seen beauty in the most unlikely place, the dump. He also became very wealthy because of all who came to see the statue in it's place of honor in the middle of a city square. He looked after it day and night. One day the man who had thrown out the statue off his plot and putt the stench away from his step visited the city as he saw the sights he was directed to look at the statue for it was the greatest attraction of the city. He went to see it and as he lifted his sights to see it he recognized a near-by pig farmer. When they both came to understand that they had had this great treasure in their own sights for so long but had failed to see it's beauty each was deeply moved by his own foolishness.





   And so, many disregard true treasure in their lives, people who they fail to see as valuable until another person discovers the beauty we've failed to see. They stand to us as grimy statues undeserving of our time and or energy and are seen as a sore to society when in reality they are pure gold with a thin layer of grime obscuring their true sunshine."

Written by Sarah Bartels